Alternative Fortune Cookies: predictions applicable to all
In the middle of the night you will wake up and realise you were not the favourite child.
— Meg Eichmann
Watch out for those ceiling fans, David.
— Callum Johnston
We have updated our privacy policy.
— Roman Ulyanov
Whatever you do, don’t water the oysters, they ain’t fresh.
— Tom Warsnop
Crabs will become your friend, and your sibling, and your mother too. Crabs will assimilate and become everything. Then, crabs will become you.
— Marcie Di Bartolomeo
Tomorrow.
— Jess Zhou
Bananas are lying to you also.
— Emily White
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